6 Tips for Surviving Restaurants with Toddlers

To this day I’m still haunted by a tantrum that my youngest threw in a restaurant at 3 months old. We’re talking full-on rage-mode in which no pacifier, bottle or level of consoling could settle her in the slightest. It felt like the universe was telling me to ‘just stay home’ for the next quarter of a year or so. There was no Happy Meal or Play Place that could distract her from this restaurant-phobia.

As a mom who truly believes that other guests are there to enjoy their experience and crying babies should be removed from the situation (hi, it’s my kid), it meant that I spent a majority of get-togethers, casual dinners and family birthday outings literally outside of the restaurant. Hungry (more like hangry) and completely over it. Trying to settle my kiddo, or at least move far enough away from the situation where no one could hear her, was an Olympic sport.

On top of everything, I was burdened with a load of embarrasment and mom-guilt. I’m an over-packer, and no matter how much I had prepped for the unavoidable tears, I was at a total loss. Then overnight, somewhere around the 6 month mark, the planets aligned, mercury was no longer in baby-gade and everything suddenly ‘clicked’. Overstimulation subsided, comfort prevailed and mama was happy - heart and belly full.

Fast forward to a year later, with two toddlers at the table. Is this stage any easier? Nah. But this time, I’m ready for it, and I’m eating my meal in peace.

If you think I’m going to sit here and tell you that I’m surviving without screen time, you’re reading the wrong blog. Sure, my kiddos are generally well-behaved, but I’m not about to raw-dog a public restaurant without an iPad. That’s just not how our family operates, and all the power to ya if that works for yours. Our strategy isn’t about if we’re taking out the tablet, it’s about when.

Here are my 6 holy grail tips for surviving dining in public and avoiding those hangry mom-moments.

Check the Menu Beforehand

Know your order and your kiddos. Do you really need to give them all of the options squeezed into a coloring page next to the word search? Chances are there’s some assortment of nuggets, burger, pizza or mac and cheese. Do yourself (and them) a favour and just pick. Let’s avoid the tartums and take back control.

Know the Seating Sitch

I had my babies post-covid, so you know I expect them to get sick from everything they touch. I prefer to bring my own booster seats, which puts me at ease about germs, but it’s not always possible depending on the restaurant. A booth may be a go-to but they may not be able to each the table comfortably. Call ahead and find out what you can expect for the seating space. Knowledge is power and it’s literally just another thing off your list.

Get Organized. Quickly.

For myself, it’s not just cutlery and wine glasses that can be a mom’s worst nightmare, its salt and pepper shakers, ceramic bread plates and anything in arms reach that I really just don’t want to deal with. The ‘kids end’ of the table is a real thing, and I like to make sure everything is removed from their area before they even sit down (if you have a partner in tow that can occupy them, awesome). You already know I don’t want them touching the table and sticking their hands in their mouths. Disposable placemats are chef’s kiss. clear the area, stick them down and you’re good to go. Throw a few crayons in the mix and they’re already keeping busy while you look over the apps.

3…2…1…Order!

Want to eat your own dinner in peace? Order the kids meals with the beverages. They’ll come out quickly so you can focus on getting them eating with your own meal going cold. Restaurants are generally great about bringing kids meals out as soon as they can, so you can get them fed before you feed yourself.

Bigger is Better

Okay, I admit it. This one was a learning experience for me, but when it comes to packing toys - the bigger, the fewer, the better. I used to think I needed to have ALL the toys so that the kids could constantly be stimulated. In order to tote more options along, I was also packing smaller. Unless you want to be picking up happy-meal size toys off the floor every 20 seconds, I beg you, learn from my mistakes. 1-2 larger toys like magnetic drawing boards or a water marker colouring book should keep your kiddos hands busy enough. I like to keep my ‘restaurant toys’ seperated from their regular toys at home, so it makes them more special and they show more interest when they’re surprised with them.

Strategize Screen Time

Yep, you heard it right. It’s all about WHEN. That iPad turns on RIGHT before I take the first bite of my meal and not a minute sooner. Have something lined up for them that’s visually stimulating with literary learning so that the volume isn’t necessary (think colours and shapes rather than a sing-a-long) so not to disturb anyone at surrounding tables (or your own). We’re solving two problems here: I get to eat in peace, and my kiddos aren’t in front of the screen for more time than they need to be. They also haven’t gotten bored of it already from turning it on too early. Win-win for everyone.

For our family, the restaurant, location, set-up will always change. Flexibility is key, but having some sense of order or repetition is also something your little ones will adapt to. They’ll figure out that dinner out means ‘limited edition’ toys, if they eat their dinner, they get the iPad and maybe, just maybe, if they co-operate well enough an ice cream sundae will magically appear in front of them at the end of the evening. By the way, don’t ask them if they want the ice-cream. The answer is ‘yes’. It’s always ‘yes’. If they’re deserving, make the order and it will be a little extra special.

We like to err on the side of ‘playing it safe’ and we like to set realistic expectations. We know what our kids will like to eat and what they won’t, and we choose not to take this as an opportunity to introduce new foods (although they are more than welcome to try things off of our plates, we may find a new favourite for next time!). For us, it’s all about leaving the meal looking forward to the next one as a family.

Bon appetit, mamas!

P.S. - Honourable mention tips include:
- Checking for lost shoes or toys under the table before you go
- Timing your meal so you don’t have to push naps or bedtime
- Save dessert is for special occasions only (also, prepare to be up to 11pm if you’re having cake and ice cream way too late in the evening)